TRIPZZZ: February 2009

Feb 27, 2009

"APPEAL FROM AN ANGRY
NOT SO EMO"

Another one of the pieces I read today was written by Kali Moriary. It is titled "Appeal From an Angry Not So Emo" and was edited into the book Red: the Next Generation of American Writers--Teenage Girls--On What Fires Up Their Lives Today. The author expresses her frustration with the hate that surrounds us today and we learn that the author/narrator is an outsider, and is mocked on a regular basis by her peers. Moriary takes the cliche of being left out or being picked on and makes it personal by adding in her own personal experiences and views on the subject. For example, she believes that hate is all around us and--like authority--nobody cares. Her story is effective because everyone can relate to what she is saying, and is also quite enjoyable because her dramatic style makes the story an exciting one to read.

"WHAT TRUTHINESS TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEING (UN)COOL"

One of the pieces I read today was written by Sarah Schelde. It is titled "What Truthiness Taught Me About Being (Un)cool" and was edited into the book Red: the Next Generation of American Writers--Teenage Girls--On What Fires Up Their Lives Today. The story is a compilation of experiences that describe how she stands out and why she is proud of it. The author distinctly remembers the moments where she stands out or was considered uncool. She takes this universal idea of being an outsider and makes it her own personal myth by telling us how SHE feels about her situation. She stresses to the audience that it is okay to be uncool and is even a good thing because it will lead to success later on in life. Her style and story was effective because everyone can relate to feeling left out.

I AM FROM

I Am From Poem

I am from streets lined with pear blossoms.
I am from Chipotle on Fridays
Movies on Saturdays
And Starbucks after school.
I am from a two story house covered in brick and ivy
A pool and swing set surrounded by the pine trees in the backyard.
I am from my own room
My laptop and desk
My own bathroom.
I am from volleyball that I play year round
And thousands of dollars spent for me to play club.
I am from high expectations for my future
Expectations those are too high.
I am from a family of 2 boys and 2 girls…blonde and beautiful.
I am from manicures
Pedicures
Highlights.
I am from weekends at Disneyland
Magic Mountain
And SeaWorld.
I am from new clothes every month and makeup to paint my face.
I am from smiles used to cover up.
I don’t know who I am.
All I know is where I am from.
They say you are the product of your environment.
I guess that is true.
But why aren’t I happy?
Something is not right.
But isn’t this the perfect life?
The life everyone wants?
The high school football player and cheerleader who married
Bought a big house
Had a big family
Of smart, beautiful children.
I am a stereotype.
But the thing about stereotypes is…
They’re not always as predictable as you think.

Feb 25, 2009

"MY IMPRESSION NOW"

This excerpt was from John Seller's book titled Perfect From Now On: How Indie Rock Saved My Life. It is narrated from Seller's point of view as he reflects on the function of itunes known as a play count. A play count allows the user to see how many times they have listened to a particular song, as well as other things including providing information of the most listened to genre. The author finds this incredibly interesting, because a computer can define you and your musical preferences--the play count makes the listener's habits quantifiable and sortable. It even reveals to the author what his favorite band is even though he had only just begun admitting it to himself. I felt that this made the author appear slightly dumb or stupid because an insignificant function on his computer revealed parts of himself he hadn't even realized on his own. His awe of the computer and its limitless abilities also made him appear primitive to me because a computer is just an everyday object. It is nothing special; everyone has one. The author made his fixation with the play count into a personal myth by adding personal experiences, songs, and thoughts that are unique to the author. However, these thoughts were reflective and were written in the past, so the thoughts he is currently remembering and writing about could be different from those thoughts he had as the experience was happening.

"PLAY"

Once again, we continued to read and annotate excerpts from various authors. One of the excerpts was from the book Red which was edited by Amy Goldwasser. The excerpt was written by Olive Panter, age sixteen, and titled "Play." In respect to the writers age, the piece is well written, interesting, easy to read/follow, and easy to relate to because of his relate-able topic. Panter reflects on exactly how big a part music plays in his life and tells us how he grew up in an environment saturated by music and the effect that this has had on him. However, because the writer is reflecting upon it, the flow of ideas that were written down are probably different than those that he had in the past.

EMBARRASSMENT AND TRIUMPH

Mixed CD Poem

Back in the day
The movie drawled on
We sat with a trench between us
The bombs falling and bursting
The war starting all over
I should have heeded my friends’ warnings
How typical
You’re friends one day and enemies the next
Frenemies.

Summer is here.
Our friendship is flourishing under the warmth of the sun
Sleepovers. Dinners. Friends.

Winter is here.
The weather is changing
Temperatures drop and the clouds control the air
I can feel the pressure
I'm sitting all alone feeling empty
I’ve lost her and it’s effortless
I’m busy still saying please
But everything isn’t meant to be ok
It will never be the same.

Spring is here.
If only I knew what I know today
Everything is falling apart
I’m starting from scratch
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
It’s so hard to say goodbye
There's gotta be more to life
More to my life
But why can't I let it go
It doesn’t matter
I just have to keep holdin’ on.

Summer is here
Again.
The seasons took their toll
I remember what happened back in the day
She always took the time to criticize me
It was all about her
It was like I’m was the one she loved to hate
Just shut up, shut up, shut up
You’re a stupid girl
I don’t want to hear it
Bow in the presence of greatness
I’m better, faster, and stronger.

Feb 24, 2009

EMBARRASSMENT AND TRIUMPH

Mixed CD Story

We sat beside each other as the long movie drew on. We talked and gossiped and laughed at her as we stared at her back. Her roots were dark as charcoal and were in a deep contrast against the bottle blond of her hair. Her curves oozed from her sides. We found it easy to make fun of her. Everything was turning around and plummeting downhill. It all had happened so fast. This is what always seems to happen with girls. One minute you are friends and the next you aren’t even talking. Sure, it depends on the person but deep down all girls—and guys though they will deny it—crave the petty arguments we know as drama. Without it, life is boring. It is all a matter of being able to control the drama before it controls you. This is what guys have over us. They get in fights just like us, but are a different breed since they don’t care enough for the drama to escalate to the next level.
First semester had passed and the weather had grown dreary and cold. We had begun as acquaintances last year as the flowers bloomed and clouds snuck away from the sun’s warmth. Summer came and I got to know her under the heat of the sun. As school came back into session we talked and texted as our status changed. Suddenly I was her ‘best friend.’ The whirlwind had taken me by surprise and swept me away before I had time to think. I did not heed my friend’s warnings of her true character and gave into her. I realize I am a pushover. I don’t pay attention to everything around me and am blinded by the intensity of everything that surrounds me. Not everyone notices everything, after all people only see what they want to see. And a new buddy, seemed like good news.
Winter came. Temperatures dropped and the atmosphere changed. The good times faded and fighting and drama took its place. My eyes were opened as if they had been clouded and obscured by the summer. She was no longer carefree and fun, but now she thought too much and had a talent for holding grudges. I found myself trapped by her and desperate to find a way out. Holly felt the same way. We slowly tried to fade from her mind. Hoping that she would simply forget us and we could slip out of her grasp. No. This would not happen. Drama, drama, drama. This only provoked the animal and everything escalated. If only she had been a guy.
Nothing was ever the same. We found ourselves looking at her and taunting her. We were in the same class as her but never talked. The dismal silence that separated us grew as words eroded the friendship Holly and I had with her once. Kaput. It was done and over, the summer came and overtook the winter. As the cold dreary weather melted away, so did the beast.
New times were ahead and all that was left was to move on. If only it was that simple. Things would never be so easy. Though I try I am still connected with her. I revealed my secrets and let her see my heart. A bond like that is not easily forgotten and only time will tell whether I can completely forget. I hope I can. In the meantime, I take it as a lesson and will learn from it. Math and philosophy were not the only things I learned in school that year. I grew up and my eyes were opened to the brutality of people. Nothing is fair and just in this world and there is nothing we can do about it. Everything is so much easier when you are ignorant. If only I had been aware enough to avoid her in the blinding light of the summer. Maybe then I could have remained in the dark.

"HANDWRITTEN" PLAYLIST

For class we also had to create a CD with songs that represented our own personal narrative. Below is a handwritten image of my play list.

"MY RIDE, MY REVOLUTION"

My teacher's string of personal narratives continued as we read Luis J. Rodriguez's "My Ride, My Revolution" from her book of stories titled The Republic of East L.A. In the story we learn that the author has a limo because of his current job. The narrator then begins to describe himself and we learn that he lives in a bad neighborhood, is Mexican and Indian, and can never hold a job for a long period of time. He also only holds jobs where he can think, listen to music, read a book and "check out every mole and pimple of the city" (Rodriguez, 2). This is why he enjoys his current job. We additionally learn that because he brings the limo home one day he become a big hit. The limo "is an extra seventy one inches of curved metal-and-glass epiphany--creamy white, tinted windows, and dark grey leather interior" (3). The people of his neighborhood admire it and have a respect for him because of it. However, the author realizes this is temporary. As he tells his story, the narrator sidetracks and reveals other parts of his life to us. In a way, he mixes mini-stories or sagas into his main tale.

His story structure is interesting and I believe I will try to model my own narrative after his style. The story relates to my film class because we see the authour create his own personal myth, which I am required to write for myself.

Feb 22, 2009

"WE STOOD IN LINE AT ELLIS ISLAND FOR THIS?"

One personal narrative we read was written by Paul Feig and was taken from his book Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence. The story was from the chapter titled "We Stood in Line at Ellis Island for This?" We only read the beginning of the chapter, though the impact was still significant. The story was narrated by the author who reflected on a traumatizing childhood experience--kids in elementary school nicknamed him Fig Newton. From an outsider's point of view this name can hardly be considered 'traumatizing' even though at the time the author, a self conscious and self absorbed preteen, would have felt personally victimized. The author makes the experience real to his audience with childish narration and exaggerated and dramatized thoughts. He goes as far as to say there must not be a God because He would never allow such an injustice if He were real. Feig's story represents his state of mind at the time of his experience and tells us his personal story or his personal myth [refer to post titled "THE STORIES WE LIVE BY: PERSONAL MYTHS AND THE MAKING OF THE SELF" ].

"ROLLER BOOGIE"

Another narrative our class read was written by Rob Sheffield. The excerpt was titled "Roller Boogie" and was taken from Love is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time. The author reflects on his thirteen year old self and regrets who he was at that time. He refers to himself as a "douche bag" and tells us his story from an ironic point of view. At the time, the narrator would have thought he was cool and was very content with his life. Whereas now all he does is regret his actions and casts a shadow of embarrassment over his words. He pokes fun at himself and portrays himself as clueless. The author takes this memory and turns it into his own personal myth. However, like the memory of Patricia Hampl who wrote I Could Tell You Stories: Sojourns In The Land of Memory, he changes his memory [refer to "MEMORY AND IMAGINATION" ]. He knows he was actually uncool and weird at the age of thirteen even though at the time he was oblivious. If he had been telling the same story as a thirteen year old there would have been no irony in the story and the narration would be very different.

Feb 19, 2009

"LIFE AND MYTH"

Today, we did the same assignment as yesterday. We were required to read analyze and summarize The Stories We Live By: Personal Myths and the Making of the Self by Dan McAdams. However, today's piece was on the subject of stories and our personal myths. The preface explains that identity is what is about a lie that provides meaning, unity and purpose. As we continue into the introduction we learn that you have to know the identity and life story of someone to truly know them. And by extension, in order to learn more about people and ourselves, we tell stories. From these stories each of us creates a personal myth which "is a special kind of story that each of us naturally constructs to bring together the different parts of ourselves and our lives into a purposeful and convincing whole" (Dan McAdams, page 12). We make ourselves through myth. As the work continues, we read about Margaret Sands story and how she is forming her personal myth. Her story is a tragic one and after we read of her life we continue on to learn what a story really is. All stories have a setting, characters, initiating event, attempt, consequence and a reaction. After clarifying the grammar of a story we realize, through examples, just how much we are impacted by stories. They provide us with life experience, provide us with a common structure, are related to life and measure time. The list continues. Stories also entertain us, instruct, organize our thoughts, and even mend us when we are broken. The writer goes on to relate the story to the myth and say that a sacred story is the same as a myth, and myths accomplish the same thing for society as a personal myth accomplishes for the human being. However, we still need personal myths because we need to discover ourselves/our identities because society no longer tells us how to live. The author continues on and explains how the myth develops and concludes with the connection between our personal myths and the rest of the world--the stories we create influence the stories of other people, those stories give rise to others, and soon there is meaning and connections within a web of story making and living (McAdams). Our personal myths/lives help create the world we live in, which is at the same time creating us (McAdams).

In regard to the assignment summarized above I see no distinct correlation between what I read in the piece and what I have been working on in my film class. I do realize however, that I am currently writing my own personal myth and searching for my identity. Many other people my age are going through the same process and I suspect that we may do a project in the future which will help to reveal our own personal myths and stories to the public.

Feb 18, 2009

"MEMORY AND IMAGINATION"

Today in class we read and annotated an excerpt from I Could Tell You Stories: Sojourns In The Land of Memory by Patricia Hampl. The excerpt was titled Memory and Imagination. The chapter began by telling one of the author's memories and then goes on to analyze the memory and why she remembers this one in particular. Hampl realizes that as she told her story she got carried away and made mistakes in retelling the story. She had replaced parts of the memory, not with what she had that day, but with what she wanted. We learn that the author is finally getting what she wants by replacing parts of the memory, nothing is what it seems, she invented parts of her memoir, and she has to remember this moment in time in order to discover herself--by remembering the story a part of the writer will be revealed to herself as well as what she wants (symbols of longing). The author also discusses why she writes memoirs and the significance of remembering the past.

By reading this excerpt, I was able to learn that remembering the past is enriching and fulfilling. It is a journey that is necessary for all of us to take in order for us to find meaning in life. Memories allow us to learn more about ourselves and reveal our true desires. This relates to my film making class as we are learning to remake films from our own point of view. We pick and choose those scenes which seem important to us and molded a film to represent us just like a memory is molded to represent its owner.